Tag: Counselor and Financial Planner

The “A Little Bit More” Syndrome

Phil Zaffos
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You are at a get together and you overhear a group of people talking and hear the old but familiar notion, “If I just made 10% more money, I think I’d be right where I want to be”. And then a year from now, they do, but the sentiment remains.

Why is this? What is this road that seems to never end? At what point will we be satisfied?

These are questions that tend to swirl in my mind whenever I hear this conversation. Now, for some people, perhaps lower income families with a few children for instance, 10% really might actually get them to a place where they have achieved some level of basic financial security. Yet, for most of us, this conversation invites a curiosity and begs a deeper awareness into our hearts.

For some, the desire is to achieve a certain status. For others, to accrue more stuff. To many, it is to ease anxiety. There are so many reasons underlying this wanting ‘just a little bit more’ and to understand what is the motivation can create space for such healing and relief in many people’s lives. In other words, to understand the void and how we try to utilize finances to fill it, and then to learn what the true need is gives us a chance to live with more gratitude and contentment.

As therapists, when we hear a sentiment that echoes the “a little bit more syndrome”, we have the privilege to press in and investigate what is really going on and hopefully, facilitate true freedom and a healthier relationship with finances.

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Phil Zaffos is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Financial Planner specializing in financial planning services for mental health professionals. Learn more about Foundation Planning and it’s services here.

Money & Emotions

Phil Zaffos

“Money, like emotions, is something you must control to keep your life on the right track.”

I recently read this quote by author, Natasha Munson  and it didn’t sit very well with me. It just felt too…disconnected. Cold.

I can’t even imagine telling a client, “look, if you want your life to stay on track, you must control your emotions”. I don’t think I’d ever say that to a client for financial planning either.

I think instead, when someone’s emotions or finances are out of control, they respond better to invitation and curiosity. Maybe something more like, “when your life isn’t on track, let’s be curious together and see if we can understand more about what’s happening in you and around you. Let’s explore together.”

When people develop insight into what’s taking place within them, they can validate the emotions they are experiencing and trust they feel them for good reason. This is the path to self-compassion and a further understanding of the underlying need. Along with skills to regulate emotions, this posture of kindness toward oneself can create a powerful, healing experience. I’ve noticed new patterns in how people begin to relate to themselves and others organically formed through this process.

It’s really no different for finances. Developing insight about money’s meaning and the emotions evoked, being curious about financial habits and exploring with compassion the reasons for behaviors, and then connecting the two with validation and seeking out the true needs, are all crucial steps along the road to empowerment and healing. And the result is more effective at meeting the underlying need.

So, money, like emotions, is something to be curious about and explore with compassion to keep your life filled with kindness and hope.

Finance Meets Psychology

Phil Zaffos

Well actually, the two hardly need an introduction. Finance, like psychology, is a very emotionally and cognitively charged phenomenon. It certainly validates finances being one of the top reasons for divorce and mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety.

As a therapist and financial planner, my hope is to explore the intersection and overlapping nature of the two, so that therapists feel more empowered to explore finances with clients more comfortably. Some posts will be more specifically about finances to give language and understanding to some of the basics, while others will more specifically highlight how finances can be conceptualized and approached therapeutically with clients.

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Thanks for visiting and hope to see you again soon!